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ETIQUETTE
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Is
it acceptable to request a gift more expensive than what one
person can afford?
Of course, especially this day in age when you
can request contributions. Many brides and grooms are already
requesting help with their honeymoon, a home down payment, or
even charity donations. Your guests both want and expect to
give you a gift that will be appreciated and worth your time
and theirs. They will be happy to know they've helped you to
receive the gift of your dreams.
Is it appropriate that guests contribute to a charity as our gift?
More and more couples are registering for their favorite charity. This works especially well if they honestly do not need anything. Guests and friends expect to give a gift, in fact, they want to! They will simply contribute money to your account with comeregister.com, and then we will send the donation in the couple's name to the charity of choice. Of course, sending thank you notes to the guests who donated on your behalf is still a must.
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Is it appropriate to request gift
certificates or cash for our wedding?
Guests who are unaware of what you would like to receive
for your special day may prefer to send a gift certificate or cash.
It is not, however, acceptable to request you receive such things
as gifts. That's why registering at Comeregister.com is so perfect…although
you are receiving cash from your guests, they are sending monetary
gifts in order to help you purchase something that you really want
or need, and they know what their money will be used for. You avoid
having to ask for money directly, which can be awkward, and guests
don't have to worry about what to send you because they already know
what you want!
Should we open our gifts at the reception?
Traditionally, gifts should not be opened at the reception. Some couples even wait until they return from their honeymoon. But because your guests are helping you to purchase something you will buy personally, they have not had the chance to actually see what it is they helped you to purchase. If you feel it acceptable, you can acknowledge your appreciation for the gift by announcing it at the reception. If you don't feel it appropriate to openly talk about your gift(s), simply place a picture of your new home, living room furniture, hot tub, or fitness equipment on a side table so that your guests can put a name to the face, if you will. In the end, guests can feel a sense of teamwork at accomplishing the major feat of giving you and your spouse what you really needed or wanted.
When should we send thank you
notes?
Thank you notes should be sent no more than 6-8 weeks
after the gift is received. You will receive notification via email
every time someone contributes money to a gift you've registered for,
so the name of the guest and their contribution will be right at hand.
If you choose to wait until you purchase your gift(s), names and contributions
will be listed on your gift certificate(s). Either way, you won't
have to keep track of envelopes, gift cards, or separate personal
checks, we do it for you.
Is
it appropriate for us to email thank you notes?
Even when using an on-line gift registry, it
is not proper to email thank you notes, or send pre-printed
or typed messages. Formal handwritten thank you letters of appreciation
should be sent, even if you have already thanked the individual
in person or announced your gift at the reception.
What is appropriate to say
in a thank you note?
Each note should be a personal handwritten note
mentioning the gift and how it will be used. At least one other
thought such as an invitation to an upcoming event, a comment
about the wedding, or something about wedding bliss should be
included.
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Should we give thank you gifts?
Yes, the couple should give thank you gifts to both
sets of parents. Also gifts are appropriate to thank anyone who has
hosted a party or been especially helpful in the preparation process.
Also, it is customary to give small gifts to attendants in appreciation
of all of their help in making the event a success. Gifts do not need
to reflect the difference of each guest's contribution or other gift.
When should gifts be opened?
Gifts should be opened as they arrive for many reasons. Some couples like to keep track of their registry items to make certain the store with which they registered is up to date. Some like to start decorating their home right away rather than waiting until after the wedding. Others still look at it as a way to avoid opening mountains of gifts all at the same time, tracking all of the gift givers, and then writing a marathon of thank you notes when all you really need to do is relax. Because couples consider any of these a convenient reason for both receiving and opening gifts upon their arrival, comeregister.com has incorporated these aspects into their process as well. We will send you contribution alerts via email each time someone contributes to a gift so you can manage your registry as you see fit. We will also send you your purchase certificates as soon as a gift has been contributed to in full so you don't have to wait until after your wedding to take advantage of that fitness club membership. Finally, because we send you these things in such a timely manner, you don't have to worry about that marathon of thank you notes we mentioned earlier.
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| Guests |
When
and where should a wedding gift be sent?
Traditionally, a wedding gift should be sent before the wedding date to the return address on the invitation unless otherwise indicated. Gifts should not be brought to the reception, as this could be an inconvenience for the bride and groom because they must find a way to ship the gifts to their home. Because you are contributing to a gift that the couple will select personally, it will be appreciated when your monetary gift is received before the wedding date. You may contribute to a gift up to three months after the date, depending on when the couple decides to close their registry. Because the contribution process happens on-line with comeregister.com, please note that you should not send your contribution directly to the bride and groom. Doing so will prevent us from acknowledging your contribution upon sending the couple their purchase certificates. Not only does this mean your contribution can not be converted into the final purchase certificate amount, your name will not appear on the list of people who contributed to that gift.
Is it appropriate to send more than
one wedding gift?
Of course. The couple may have registered for more
than one gift through Comeregister.com, and you may contribute to
as many of them as you wish. Also, you may choose to contribute to
a larger gift on-line and purchase another gift for the couple to
open after the wedding. This is especially true if you know the couple
extremely well and have something personal in mind.
What if I don't receive a thank you
note?
If acknowledgment is not received within one month
after the wedding, it is appropriate to ask if the gift was received.
You will receive an automatic e-mail receipt confirming your contribution
to the gift, and the bride and groom will also receive notification
by email and on their final gift certificate.
If I am not invited to the wedding,
may I still send a gift?
Of course you can. This is called an engagement gift,
and is optional. Monetary contributions will not be limited by invitation,
so feel free to express your generosity!
If I send an engagement gift, should
I expect to be invited to the wedding?
Unfortunately, no. The couple and parents will construct
a guest list according to budget and guidelines that are set up by
family counsel.
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